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Fan Thoughts

A script by Michael Russell
(c) February 1996 - Michael Russell

Written in the form of a comic book script; this is a tongue-in-cheek look at some fans done in the great tradition of "Please-please-please-get a life" and "Hard Days Warners".

Babs, Fifi, and Shirley are copyright and trademarks of Warner Bros.

Panel 1

Fifi, Shirley, Babs are in Babs' bedroom. Babs is laying on her stomach on the bed. Shirley is sitting at the desk looking thru Babs' CDs. Fifi is standing at the closet looking at Babs' clothes that she might borrow and she is holding one in front of her. All three girls are dressed in their "standard" clothes.

FIFI: Oh, Babs. This dress looks ze manifique. May I borrow sometime.

Panel 2

Pan on Babs' face.

BABS: Sure, just make sure you deodorize it before you return. (giggles).

Panel 3

Wide shot of Fifi with Babs in corner. Fifi has dropped hand holding dress to her side, has very upset expression.

FIFI: Babs, that's not very nice.

BABS: (laughing) I just can't help myself. ... You know I'm kidding, Feef.

Panel 4

Camera over to Shirley who has her hands on her belly and is laughing out loud.

SHIRLEY: (laughing) Oh, that was mean or some junk. (more serious) This reminds me of something totally silly and gross I heard today.

Panel 5

Camera back on Babs with Shirley in background.

BABS: Like what?

Panel 6

Camera on Shirley again. She has put down the CDs. Babs is now sitting on the bed (no longer on her stomach).

SHIRLEY: I heard that there were, like, these human fans of our show who, like totally, have these really strange ideas about us.

BABS: Fer sure? What kind of ideas?

Panel 7

Fifi is now sitting on the bed next to Babs. They are looking at Shirley. Fifi is combing her hair with her hand.

SHIRLEY: First, they like to think of us, well you and Fifi mostly, being naked. Can't you just gag.

FIFI: Moi, naked? But, I have just ze prettiest, thick fur. So thick that I don't have to wear clothes to ensure I'm covered.

Panel 8

Focus on Babs and Shirley. Babs is looking at her chest with the expression "I'm flat" and pulling on her dress as if to show "nothing here".

BABS: What do they expect to see, after all we have only begun to blossom?

SHIRLEY: Beats me. Those humans can be a really strange bunch, totally.

Panel 9

Back on all three. Shirley's hands in the air in a sort of frantic, "can you believe this nonsense" expression. Fifi with a shocked look.

SHIRLEY: Oh, it gets even worse. Can you believe that those humans want to hug us or worse.

FIFI: Sacre re bleu. We don't like it when Elmyra wants to hold us, why would these humans think we would let them touch us. It is horrible!

BABS: Yeah. Why would they think we would be interested in anyone outside our species?"

Panel 10

Camera on Shirley and Fifi. Shirley acting silly. Fifi again irritated about being the subject of a lot of jokes.

SHIRLEY: Well, Fifi sometimes forgets. (laughs)

FIFI: Am moi ze subject of ze jokes today?

Panel 11

Camera on all three again. Fifi looks serious. Babs and Shirley are laughing.

FIFI: Le sigh! There are no boy skunks around! 'kay, so, I've gotten confused by some cute guys with a white stripe down their backs.

BABS: You're young. Wait until you are a mature fourteen like Shirley and me.

BABS and SHIRLEY: (laughing)

Panel 12

Camera still on all three, but closet is in view. Fifi is now laughing. Babs is pointing to an outfit in the closet.

FIFI: (Giggle in agreement) You're right. (Giggling slowly ends) What about ze strange humans?

BABS: I think we can ignore them, we're toons, they can't hurt us.

BABS: Now Feef, what do you think of my red suit over there ...

THE END